The Meeting of Nikolai

I got up early, swept the apartment, boiled some eggs, did laundry and got washed and dressed to go. Kevin was still in bed and I was gonna leave for the Coffee Life (Coffee As Lifestyle) without him, but he said to wait. Another sunny day in Zapporyzia.

We got home from the cafe at 12:30. I needed to get to the Comfy to get more food and we were out of grivnas. Kevin stayed home to work and I took off with $100 to go shopping. Unfortunately, the money exchange at the Comfy was closed. The sign said "c 13:00-14:00". I took that to mean that they were closed from 1:00 to 2:00, probably for lunch or something. Well, it was just 1:00 so I wasn't about to wait around for an hour. There had to be another exchange place nearby.

I started walking in a direction that showed the most potential. I decided to enter an establishment with a sign saying, in very big letters, METPO. I know that the Russian P is really an R, so I wasn't sure what it was, but perhaps some kind of mall. The first store inside was a hardware store, much like a large Ace, or small Lowes. I asked the lady at the checkout if she knew where a money exchange was. I can say, "Excuse me, tell me, please where is" but I do not know the word for money exchange. She, of course, begins yaking away at me until I tell her I don't understand Russian. I know the words for big store, because I was sure she was directing me back to the Comfy. I tried to explain that it was unavailable, and she called for an assiciate who perhaps spoke some English. The young guy seemed to gather that the Comfy booth was closed and I caught the word "bank". Aparently there was a bank just across the street. He walked me out and pointed to it. Duh! It was huge and looked just like a bank. I said thank you very much and went to the bank.

The bank was a little intimidating but mostly beacuse I stick out like a sore thumb around here. It's not just because I don't speak the language either. Because I am wearing jeans, sneakers, and a ski jacket, I am totally wierd. Women here dress to the nines. They wear skirts, dresses, or very tight pants invariably with spiked high-heeled boots. Their coats are always fashion statements; often leather, always black, belted and with fur collars. How they can walk for miles in those boots is beyond me.

Anyway, I got my money exchanged and went back to the Comfy. When we got here, the exchange rate was 8.02 grivna to a dollar. It has been steadily dropping since the passage of the health care bill. It is now 7.95. Jessica said it had been as high as nearly 9.00 recently. Thanks, Obama.

I spent nearly $50 at the Comfy and lugged everything home. I rested and got packed up to go to the orphanage. I brought my computer again just in case. The courtyard was virtually deserted today. Jessica was sitting on a bench with 2 boys. One was older, the younger one was snapping pictures with her cell phone. The outing for today was apparently changed and so here she was. We went inside and found all the boys in the computer lab playing computer games. Kai was shooting away with the game we had loaded on my computer. He rose and directed me to the lounge where sat a middle-aged and weather-worn man in a cap and trench coat. He introduced his step-dad Nikolai Something-or-other. We shook hands and he said stuff.

We really had a rough start, then. The lounge area was full of kids running around, Kai wanted to play the shooting game, and Nikolai was uncomfortable talking amid all the distractions and nosy kids. We wanted to go to the classroom for some privacy but there was no teacher there now and the door was locked. So the guy yelled at the kids to take a hike and we pulled the couches around so we could sit and see eye to eye. Kai made himself scarce, obviously uncomfortable. I wanted to make sure that he knew how thankful I was for all his kindness to both Kai and his mother. I wanted to know more details about Kai's mom so I could help him keep her memory alive. I found out her name was Alla (sounds just like Allah) and her birthday was March 5, 1959. She was about a year older than me. I said that my grandmother's name was Ella, which is similar. I asked about her health and the injury that Kai had told me about. He said she played some kind of sport that Jessica did not understand, and that she had injuries beginning with a head injury.

Poor Jessica had such a hard time today. The guy slurred his words and mumbled to himself a lot. And whenever I tried to have Jessica say something for me, he would never let her finish a sentence. He asked about Kai's schooling in America, and if he would go to college. I said I hoped so and asked his opinion on what Kai might be interested in pursuing as a career. He said he was very talented and should not give up his drawing. I said that I believed he would be good at doing something in a trade where he worked with his hands and Nikolai agreed. I told him about how knowledgeable Kevin is with construction skills and tools, as well as Sharyn's gifting in this area and her talent with paint and artistry. He seemed pleased that Kai would be surrounded by opportunity.

Eventually we were told that we could go into the classroom and Kai had a key. That must have been what he was up to all this time. We made our way downstairs and Nikolai decided that he wanted to go to the store and buy food. Jessica was happy with this because it would give us something to do while we visit with each other. I think she was also happy because she was hungry! He appeared to not want Jessica and I to come along, but Kai insisted and we all went together. Things were still somewhat awkward. I think money was the big concern. Kai chose some meat, cheese, bread and mustard, cookies, yogurt, and ice cream. We also got a deli salad of mushrooms and potatoes, a bottle of soda and some Spiderman cheese puffs with a surprise inside! Nikolai held back some items at the checkout and paid for them.

Back at the classroom, Kai made sandwiches and we ate while we talked. Nikolai refused the food. I was too nervous to eat, but ate a sandwich and tried the disgusting looking mushrooms. It was really good. Nikolai was interested in the timetable of the adoption process. When he realized we would be around for quite some time, he appeared happy for him and upset for us. He was forthcoming about feeling really sad Kai was leaving, but also that he knew it was best for him. He expressed disgust with the process and how much money it was costing us to be here for so long.

It was about 5:00 when he began to make exit noises. I asked if he would please accept a gift from me. He tried to refuse but I insisted. I gave him a can of peanuts and a shot glass from Wal-Mart with Williamsburg, Virginia on it. He seemed happy with the peanuts and did not unwrap the shot glass. He said he'd be by on Monday to hang out with us. I hope the other boys want to play with us then. I think it would be more fun.

After he left, I took the opportunity to have a private talk with Kai about his step-dad. I had to use the bathroom and when I left, Kai took advantage of my absence to flee to the computer lab. I had to go back and pry him off the shooting game, and I said, "You know I don't like that game." He followed me back to the classroom, sulking and pouting. This was apparently gonna be an on-going battle ground. Well, I figured it had to be about something, it might as well be this.

I asked him about Nikolai, and if he'd like to spend more time with him before he left. He said yes. I asked what he did while he was with him, there was obviously no computer games. He said he hung around and played outside, walked, and watched TV while Nikolai drank. I just don't get the big draw here. I wondered if he just liked getting away from the orphanage, or if he liked being where he could remember his mom, or if he just needed some alone time. He was non-committal about every option. I don't know that he is all that in touch with why he does stuff, or why he likes it. I guess that will be my job to try to figure out. Perhaps I'll never know.

He did, however, keep coming back to the war-game on the computer. He insisted it was just a game and that there was nothing wrong with it. His arguing reminded me so much of Robbie, when he disagreed with my parenting rules. I tried to be very clear that we have explained multiple times that all families have rules, and even if you do not agree with them, as a member of the family you must obey them and respect your parents. Eventually I asked if this bone-of-contention was a deal-breaker, if he would not want to come home with us if this is the rule he must live with. I stated that with all we have to offer him, it doesn't seem like too much to ask, that he not play bloody war games. He said he wants to be in our family and come to America. I said okay, then, end of discussion. (Fat chance.)

On the way out to the cab, Victor called. He wanted to know where I was, that Vladimir was waiting for me. I said I was out in front of Vladimir's car. It seems Vlad was getting nervous because he has to be at the train station to pick up a fare and I was 5 minutes late. Oh, gosh! I got in the car and apologized profusely. Vladimir did his impression of Mario Andretti and I was home in 15 minutes.

I filled Kevin in on the day's events and played Scrabble while he worked. We watched Bones and went to bed by 11:00. What a day! Jessica was the hero today. She was really pushed to the limit of her knowledge of Russian and her translation skills. I'm sure she was exhausted after today. It was stressful, awkward, and tiring. God, bless her!